


There Are Several Days Until I Can See Your Sweet Face

by acindra, xanzs



Series: Catastrophe Cafe' [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, M/M, Mostly Gen, no making out with dragons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10082363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acindra/pseuds/acindra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanzs/pseuds/xanzs
Summary: Joel accidentally gets turned into a cat-sized dragon. Ray has to take care of him.Art by Xanzs!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of I'm Not a Betting Man, But This Is A Sure Thing so you should read that first. In case you don't, Joel is a dragon, Ray is a wood nymph, Jack is a thaumaturge, and Michael is an alchemist who makes cupcakes.

Ray was idly playing tetris on his DS, waiting for Joel to finish up whatever he was doing with Jack.

They had date night plans.

Though their ‘plans’ were not very in-depth (dinner and video games followed by making out) Ray was eagerly looking forward to them.

He was just on the cusp of becoming impatient when the doorbell rang. He paused his game and bounced up off the couch to make his way to the door.

It opened to reveal Jack holding a cat-sized bundle of scales.

A cat-sized bundle of _very familiar_ black-gold scales.

“What did you do?!” Ray accused said bundle of scales, though he could tell by the slow inhale and exhale that Joel was asleep.

Jack looked sheepish. “I may have left him alone in my testing room.”

Ray was unimpressed. “Did he hurt himself?”

“No, from what I can gather the only thing he managed to do was turn himself into this.”

“How long is he going to be like this?”

“No more than a week.”

“A week?! I can’t take care of a dragon for a week! We’re not allowed to have pets in our apartments!” Ray ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “Is there anything you can do to speed it up?”

Jack shook his head. “I’d have to make something up for this and it’d probably take longer to make than for the spell to break. I can still try, but I can’t make any promises.”

Ray sighed. “What do you think I should feed him?”

Jack shrugged. “I think he can eat what he normally would. Just… less of it because he’s smaller.”

“If I kill my boyfriend by feeding him pizza I will not only blame you, I will come after you with a pitchfork.” Ray informed him.

Jack nodded seriously. “That’s fair.”

Ray reached out for Joel and Jack carefully placed the sleeping dragon in his arms.

There was an awkward pause.

“I’m- I’m gonna go.”

“Ok, bye.”

The shutting of the door felt like the sealing of his doom.

He sighed and looked down at the sleeping dragon to find one eye cracked open, staring at him.

Joel quickly closed his eye.

Ray snorted. “I saw that you lying motherfucker.” He moved towards the couch, flopping down on it and jostling Joel slightly. “How long were you awake for?”

The dragon in his lap slowly uncurled and stretched out its limbs.

Ray hesitantly pet him, still amazed by the smooth texture of his scales as the first day he was allowed to touch them.

Joel started making a rumbling noise as he was pet.

Ray raised an eyebrow. “Are you… purring?”

The tiny dragon on his lap looked mildly affronted.

“Well I don’t know! I’m still new to all of this dragon stuff, remember?”

Joel pulled himself up Ray’s chest to nuzzle at his chin.

Ray would never admit it but in that moment he knew he’d take care of Joel even if it took months or years for him to turn back.

\--

Ray decided to go through with their date night plans (except the making out because that was a level of weird he wasn’t ready for) and ordered Chinese food. The delivery boy did not appreciate opening the door to find Ray with a live dragon perched on Ray’s shoulder, but beyond the initial shock the transaction went smoothly. Even if Joel had stared at him, unwaveringly, the entire time.

Ray prepared Joel’s food by placing it in a bowl and putting said bowl on the coffee table.

He curled up on the corner of the couch and watched as Joel sniffed at the bowl of food like he didn’t know what to do with it.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” Ray told him. “Chopsticks- a fork?”

The dragon huffed but started eating out of the bowl anyways.

It was a stupidly cute sight.

Ray covertly pulled out his phone and started recording it, figuring if he was going to have a ridiculous life, he might as well try getting money out of it. He made a mental note to record as much of this time as he could- youtube would probably love it. He just had to convince human Joel to let him release the videos.

-

Joel was frustrated with his inability to play video games, it seemed. He was pawing at the controller but because his balance on his two back legs was shaky at best over a long period of time, and his front legs were relatively short, he ended up half hunched up, half leaning, over the controller. It didn’t make for good gameplay. Especially when his nose kept getting in the way since he had to keep checking he was pressing the right buttons and joysticks.

At least, that’s what Ray thought he was doing anyways. He wasn’t really sure how much human brain Joel had retained.

In reality Joel was probably just batting at the controller because it was something to do with something that moved.

Either way it was really fucking cute and he was recording it.

-

When Ray finally gave up the ghost and decided to go to sleep, after calling Lindsay to say he wouldn’t be coming in to work for a week, he pulled a sheet out of the closet and made a nest out of it on the couch. He deposited Joel in it, satisfied that he had made an adequate sleeping place for him.

Joel looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t pull the puppy eyes on me, I did the best I could!”

He made his way to his bedroom, but stopped when he heard the telltale clack of claws on hardwood flooring.

“You gotta sleep, Joel.”

Joel replied with a weird sort of chirped growl.

“Go on.” Ray made shooing motions at the dragon.

Joel gave Ray one last disdainful look and went back to the couch.

“I’ll leave the door open in case you need me.” Ray called after him.

Upon waking up the next morning, Ray found Joel had dragged the sheet from the couch onto his bed and made a half nest on Ray’s head.

The warm brown eyes staring back at Ray pathetically curtailed a half hearted attempt at scolding him.

Ray gave in and flopped back down onto his pillow. The sun was streaming in through the window and gave everything a warm fuzzy feel.

Eventually sleep overcame them and they napped the morning away.

-

That afternoon found Ray and Joel on a walk around the apartment complex.

Ray had cited fresh air as reasoning but in reality they were both slowly moseying along, soaking up more sun.

Joel took that opportunity to stretch out his wings and so was hovering a few feet off the ground, making the odd loop around Ray every once in awhile.

Ray was admiring one of his neighbor’s hydrangeas when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He turned to find a police officer.

“Uh. How can I help you, officer?” he asked, suddenly nervous.

“You need to keep your… pet… on a leash.” the man told him, pointing at Joel.

“Oh he’s not my pet. He’s my boyfriend.”

The officer raised an eyebrow.

Ray cringed. “Er. He’s usually human shaped.”

The officer wiped a hand across his face, clearly not paid enough to deal with this kind of thing. “Well. As long as he’s not human-shaped, he needs to be on a leash, ok?”

Ray nodded. “Ok.”

The officer left, muttering to himself about crazy magic-people.

“Joel, let’s head back in.” Ray told the dragon.

Joel did a loop-de-loop and followed Ray back inside.

-

After parting with a distraught Joel, Ray had Michael drive him to the mall so he could get a collar and a leash.

“So how long did you say he was going to be like this?” Michael asked, as they browsed the collars

“Jack said a week? Maybe?”

“Then why do you need a collar? Just don’t go outside for a week. It’s not like that’ll be any different from normal.”

Ray turned to Michael with wide eyes. “What if he gets out and gets lost?!”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “Just ask around for people who have seen a tiny dragon wandering around. It’s not like there’s an abundance of them around.”

Ray shook his head. “No. This is important. I gotta be prepared just in case.” he looked around covertly. “Also I think it’ll be really cute.”

Michael rolled his eyes but didn’t comment.

-

When Ray got home, he was surprised to find his apartment in a state of disarray.

Controllers were knocked off the coffee table onto the ground, as were cups and notepads.

Joel was sleeping in the middle of it all, curled up in a sunbeam. He woke up when Ray opened the door.

As he surveyed the damage (nothing actually broken or particularly messy, just knocked over) Ray shook his head and regarded Joel. “Let me guess, you thought I was never coming back ever and panicked?”

The dragon had the grace to look ashamed.

“Come here.” Ray said, crouching and holding his arms out to the dragon.

Joel reluctantly slunk his way over, stepping over things he had knocked off of surfaces on the way.

Ray picked Joel up and pet him soothingly. “It’s ok to be scared, you know.” he told him. “But I promise I will come back. So you don’t have to knock things over when you panic.”

Joel chirruped softly.

“I know.” Ray murmured, continuing to pet him.

They sat like that for a little while, taking solace in each other.

Eventually Joel climbed up onto Ray’s shoulder so he could nuzzle his face.

Ray laughed, tickled by Joel’s scales. “Alright, alright, let’s clean up so I can show you what I got you at the store.”

Joel immediately hopped off his shoulder to nose at the plastic bags Ray had brought home.

“Uh uh, we gotta clean first.” Ray reprimanded, snatching up the bags.

Joel set out to right the things he had knocked over, to varied success.

It turned out dragon claws were not very good at picking up plastic cups.

-

“Ok, so I might have gone a bit overboard.” Ray said, sitting down on the couch and shoving all of the stuff on the coffee table to the side. He pulled out a simple red collar and leash.

Then some weird pouch things. Then a small hoodie. Then a charizard outfit. And finally an enderman plushie.

Joel poked at them all, curiously, before looking up at Ray.

“It’s dress up time.” Ray told him, doing jazz hands at the dragon.

Joel immediately flopped down on everything in an attempt to keep Ray from being able to move them.

Ray scooped Joel and the pouches up, cackling. “You’re too tiny for that to work, now!” he informed the vexed dragon.

He quickly put the pouches- that were actually cat shoes- on the dragon and set him down on the floor.

Joel awkwardly walked slowly around, having to lift up each leg a significantly higher distance than normal for no discernible reason.

Ray snorted.

Joel growled.

Ray put up his hands placatingly. “Ok, no shoes, gotcha.” He scooped Joel up again and pulled off the shoes, instead picking up the charizard outfit.

With much struggling and a little nipping, Ray wrangled Joel into the outfit, glad that the wings were mostly hollow so he could get Joel’s wings into it, too.

When he was finished he set Joel down next to him.

Joel immediately flopped down, crooning sadly, his wings sticking straight up.

“Aw don’t be like that, Joel. You look adorable!” Ray told him, snapping a picture.

Joel glared at him and flexed his claws inside the paws of the outfit. He made another noise that was close to a wail as he struggled to get up, slipping as the cloth slid against the material of the couch and pulled his feet out from under him.

Ray tried his hardest not to laugh but it was a close thing as Joel looked back up at him balefully. “Ok, ok. I’ll take it off.” He quickly maneuvered Joel out of the offending garment.

Joel walked around on the sofa, flexing his wings happily.

“Can I put the hoodie on you?” Ray asked the tiny dragon.

Joel looked at him doubtfully.

“Look it doesn’t have closed off feet- and no wings either. Though there aren’t any holes for wings because it’s made for a cat, but I can fix that hang on.” he fetched some scissors and quickly cut holes in the hoodie’s back so Joel’s wings could get through.

Joel was still staring at the garment, mistrusting, when Ray was finished.

“Come on, you love hoodies! Remember? I’m even wearing one of yours right now!” Ray said, holding out the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing for Joel to sniff. “I promise I’ll take it off if you don’t like it.” he told Joel, crossing his heart.

The dragon gave a heaving sigh before walking closer.

“Yes!” Ray fist-pumped.

The hoodie was much easier to get Joel into since he wasn’t fighting back, though the resigned dead-weight act made it a little more difficult than it would have been if he had been fully cooperating.

When he was done zipping it up, he set Joel down next to him and looked at him expectantly. “See? Much better, right?”

Joel moved around slowly, testing the give of the sleeves for movement and flapped his wings a couple times.

Finally, he made a chirruping noise, and curled up next to Ray, cuddling into the jacket.

Ray tugged the hood down over Joel’s eyes to block out the ceiling lamp’s light. “Oh wait, before you take a nap, check this out.” he said, reaching over onto the coffee table for the enderman plushie. “I got an enderman for my little enderdragon.” he cooed, waving the doll in front of Joel’s face.

Joel gave him an unimpressed look but stretched all of his legs towards it anyways.

Ray placed the doll on his stomach and immediately Joel curled up around it, chirruping again.

A few minutes of petting later, Joel was fast asleep, not-purring away on Ray’s lap as Ray watched tv.

-

Ray awoke to a slightly damp enderman plushie being dropped on his face. He sputtered and batted at the blurry offender. He glared at the blur that was Joel, wiping some of the spit that had come off the plushie and onto his face off.

Joel, for his part, made grumbly laughing noises and was wholly unrepentant.

“Let me guess you’re hungry and figured out you couldn’t open the fridge?” Ray asked, grabbing his glasses and putting them on.

Joel hopped off the bed and led Ray out of the bedroom.

Ray groaned when he realized that was not why Joel had woken him up.

A box of cereal was decimated on the countertop. No cereal was actually scattered about (Ray assumed Joel had eaten it all) but the box itself was torn to shreds and the bag was half empty.

Ray eyed Joel. “Did you wake me up just so I could clean up after you? Cuz that’s not cool.”

Joel made his way to the front door, chirruping insistently.

Ray let him out and they made their way downstairs. He idly remembered that he was supposed to put the leash and collar on Joel, but it was too late for that. He made a mental note to at least get the collar on him when they got back indoors and prayed the cop was not hanging around the area again.

When they finally made it downstairs and to the park-like inner grass area that was in the middle of the apartment complex, Joel dive-bombed into a patch of grass and rolled around like a dumbass for a while.

Ray snickered as he recorded it. “I guess you were just bored, huh? Must be hard when you can’t play video games with your lil arms.” he teased the dragon.

Joel ignored him and continued to roll and pounce around in the grass.

Ray spotted a stick near him and grabbed it. He offered it to Joel who hissed. “Aw come on, don’t you want to play fetch?” he asked, moving the stick closer.

Suddenly a lick of fire shot out of Joel’s mouth and lit up the stick.

Ray, in his mad scramble backwards, came to the conclusion he had far too many limbs.

Joel continued to hiss at the stick Ray had dropped.

Ray quickly stamped on it to put it out then threw it as far away as he could. “Right. Ok. Stick offends you. No more stick. Ok? So you don’t have to set it on fire. Cuz it’s alllll the way over there.”

Joel stamped around, hissing under his breath a little still, but seemed appeased.

Ray flopped down, and tried to get his heart to stop racing, wondering what the hell all that was about.

-

Later that day, Ray was scrolling through the internet trying to find ideas on what he could do to exercise Joel so he wouldn’t get bored and burn the apartment down.

He had briefly considered tying Joel to the ceiling fan so he could fly in the apartment but figured that would probably end with his hands bitten off when he went to get Joel down.

Also he didn’t want to be sued for animal abuse.

After giving up and watching a dozen cat videos, Ray stumbled upon a great idea.

Six boxes and some scissors later he had a vague obstacle course set up out of cardboard boxes.

It was then that he realized Joel was no longer sleeping on the couch where he had left him.

“Joooooel?” he called looking around.

Nothing.

It took him a good twenty minutes to find Joel in the bathroom hamper.

“There you are, buddy” he said as he reached down to pick Joel up. As he gathered Joel up his hand brushed against something hard under the dirty clothes. He set Joel down on the bathroom tile and moved aside the clothes to find… junk.

Shiny junk.

Clearly Joel had been hoarding shiny things from around the apartment.

He side eyed Joel who had the decency to look ashamed. “When did you even find the time to do that.” he asked, pointing.

Joel rumbled at him.

“Ok but if you don’t turn back before laundry day we’re going to have to move it for a while.”

Joel chirruped.

“I mean it. You can’t fucking… bite me, I don’t know, if I have to move your hoard. I know you don’t like people touching it but I need clean clothes.”

The dragon stared at him impassively.

“Just saying. Want to see what I’ve been up to?”

Joel followed Ray’s lead back out into the living room, surveying the ‘obstacle course’ with apathy.

“Want to try to go through it? You start here.” Ray told him, pointing out a tube Joel was intended to crawl through.

Joel huffed, but wiggled his way through the tube anyways.

“Then you jump into this one.” Ray continued.

Joel jumped into the box.

“This one is a teeter totter.”

Joel sat down in the box he was in, staring at Ray.

“You have to jump out of that box first.”

Joel curled up inside the box.

“No not take a nap.”

Joel very deliberately slowly closed his eyes.

“You’re the worst.”

Joel overexaggerated his breathing to sound like snoring.

-

Ray forced Joel to come with him into the bath.

Joel had grass stains on his scales from rolling around earlier, and Ray didn’t want them in his bed.

The dragon didn’t seem to have a problem with water, for which Ray was grateful.

It was hard enough bathing a cooperative dragon, he didn’t want to imagine how hard it would be to bathe an uncooperative one.

He ran the washcloth over Joel’s tiny body, tweaking the tips of his fins and tail.

There was a brief scuffle at the end when Ray tried to wipe down Joel’s belly and Joel had decided he wanted to be picked up and cuddled instead.

Or maybe he just wanted to be obnoxious.

Either way, the bath ended with Ray smooching the side of Joel’s face for being good.

-

Joel was wearing his hoodie, upside down on the couch, staring at Ray.

Now Ray was not unfamiliar with cats (knowing Lindsay, how could he be?) and wondered if Joel actually wanted belly rubs or was trying to play.

Being mindful of Joel’s claws he took the bait anyways, reaching out and petting Joel’s stomach.

The dragon crooned and made cute little pawing motions in the air.

Ray marveled at how cold the tiny dragon was even in his hoodie, wondering if he was cold-blooded like lizards and needed outside heat to keep warm. He worried that the bath had lowered Joel’s temperature.

He made a mental note to snuggle with the dragon before they fell asleep, just in case.

-

When Ray awoke the next morning, it was to an empty warm spot next to him.

He wandered out of his room, wondering where the dragon could have gotten off to.

The cereal bag from the day before (the box having been destroyed already) was lying, empty, on the counter.

Ray snorted and threw it away.

There was a rustling somewhere above him.

“Hmm. I wonder where Joel is.” he said in an exaggerated manner.

He looked across the counters before dramatically turning to the top of the fridge where Joel was perched, wings out, looking like a gargoyle.

“AHA.” Ray exclaimed, pointing. “I see you.”

Joel wiggled his butt, preparing to pounce.

Ray held out his hands and caught the dragon as he swooped down with an “oof.”

Joel licked Ray’s cheek.

“Nice jump.” Ray said, laughing at the ticklish feeling.

-

Later that day they were sunbathing again, outside on the porch.

Ray had grown some flowers on his head for Joel’s amusement and ended up with the dragon crawling all over his shoulders and batting at the flowers for a good ten minutes.

Joel eventually hopped down to investigate the flowers not attached to Ray lining the balcony in pots.

Ray decided it would probably be a good time to water the plants and went to fetch a cup. When he returned Joel was curled up around a potted rose- the same one he had found Joel curled around before they had started dating.

“You really like that rose, huh?” he asked to himself, chuckling.

He remembered that Joel had said he was sleeping around it because it smelt like Ray and Ray felt a pang of longing for Joel to be back.

It was all well and good that Joel was actually safe and sound, but now that he thought about it, he really missed his boyfriend being humanoid.

There was a knock on the door as he finished watering his plants. He set the cup down and went to answer it to find both Jack and Michael standing outside.

“Hi?”

“You weren’t answering your phone, dumbass.” Michael told him, pushing past him to get inside.

Jack was polite enough to wait for Ray to usher him inside. “I worked out a cure.” he informed him, pulling two phials of glowing liquid from his bag. “I also figured out what he did to turn himself into…. Well, a non-humanoid dragon… and isolated it so he can turn back. If he wants to.” He said, handing over the phials.

“Awesome, which one is which?” Ray asked, peering into the green and pink phials.

“The pink one is the cure. For both of them you just need to put a couple drops in his food and it should trigger the transformation. I don’t recommend you eating it unless you want to be a tree for a while. And please keep it out of reach of anyone who could be reverted to a non-humanoid form. I don’t want to get sued.”

Ray nodded seriously. “I feel ya.” He pushed past Michael to pull out some leftover chicken nuggets from the night before and sprinkling a couple drops of the cure on them. “What are you doing here, Michael?” he asked, curiously.

“I have made a new recipe.” Michael announced grandly, pulling the lid of a tupperware he had been carrying with a flourish.

“Ooh, what do they do?” Ray asked, examining the cupcakes.

They were chocolate cupcakes with dragon wings drawn on them in blue frosting.

“I call them daft dragon cupcakes. They give you small holographic dragon wings for three to five minutes. I may have taken inspiration from your situation.” Michael told them.

“Nice!” Ray exclaimed. “Can I try one?”

“You can try all twelve. I brought this batch specifically for you to try. I already tested them on Lindsay and myself but I figured a couple more people trying them before I release them at the cafe’ would help.”

Ray grinned and picked up a cupcake and placed it on the chicken nugget plate. “Come on, let’s go tell Joel the good news!”

“Where is he, anyways? I thought he’d attack the second we got in.” Michael half muttered.

“He’s out on the balcony taking a nap.” Ray said, leading the way outside.

He knelt down next to the sleeping dragon. “Joel?” he asked in a singsong voice, petting him.

Joel awoke with a “mrrp?” noise and immediately snapped to defensive when he noticed the other two people.

“Calm down, it’s ok. It’s just Jack and Michael. You know them.” Ray hurriedly explained.

The dragon deflated upon recognizing them, and instead turned his attention to the food Ray was carrying.

“I brought you a snack.” Ray told him, snatching up the cupcake before he could get to it and accidentally give himself two sets of wings. “What do you think? Can you eat all three chicken nuggets before I finish this cupcake?”

Joel chirruped at him.

“Alright. Ready? Set. Go!” he said, stuffing the cupcake into his mouth. It tasted like fresh air, which was a weird sensation to taste.

Joel, of course, managed to eat the chicken nuggets in record time.

There was a pause while the magics took effect.

Ray heard a tinkling noise behind him and glanced over his shoulder to see the small holographic dragon wings. When he had turned back, there was a humanoid-dragon Joel laying in front of him, looking very confused.

“Are you an angel, Ray?” were the first words he spoke.

Ray shook his head, ignoring the snickers from Jack and Michael. He found he was a little choked up, overwhelmed with emotion from seeing Joel back to normal. He half tackled Joel back to the ground as he attempted to sit up, hugging him tightly. “I’ve missed you.” he whispered into Joel’s ear.

“Where did I go?” Joel asked, confused, hugging him back.

“Well this is just the level of mushy that I did not want to see.” Michael told nobody in particular. “I’m gonna head out. See you at work in a couple days, Ray. C’mon Jack.” he said dragging him back out.

Ray could have sworn he heard Jack say “I’m really glad that worked, I was worried it wouldn’t.” as they left.

But it didn’t matter.

Joel was safe, sound, and back to normal.

“Seriously though why do you have transparent wings?” Joel asked into Ray’s neck, poking at said wings.

Ray shivered; it was a weird feeling. “Michael made new cupcakes.”

“Oh.”

“I’ve missed you.” Ray repeated, pulling away so he could kiss Joel sweetly.

“I don’t really know where I’ve been?” Joel told him. “I remember being at Jack's and then everything is kinda blurry.”

Ray cleared his throat. “Well. When I find my phone again. I can show you allllll the things you’ve been up to.”

“Why does that sound so ominous.”

“And then I’m going to upload them to youtube.”

“Wait. What?"

"I never did get you into the collar."

"The _what_?!"

But Ray just kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone found this as teeth rottingly cute as I promised. Thank you to Xanzs for drawing all of the art <3


End file.
